lunabee34baby: (Default)
Obviously, this post contains graphic commentary on childbirth, breastfeeding, and other bodily functions. :)

Fiona's Birthday )

39 weeks

Jun. 19th, 2013 05:46 pm
lunabee34baby: (finger by lyckaa)
I had my 39 week appointment yesterday. I'd lost a little weight; down to 15 lbs total weight gain. BP and everything else good. dilated to 3 cm. My next appointment is on the 25th, and at that point we'll talk about how long the doc will let me go before an induction.

I do not want to be induced. I really, really do not want to be induced. Pitocin is horrible. And inductions lead to more interventions like C-sections, episiotomies, and vacuum-assisted births (which is exactly what happened with Emma).

I am actually feeling like something might happen today. I'm having fairly strong cramping/contractiing and hot flashes, but every time I think something is happening, it isn't. I go to bed every night and have painful cramping that goes nowhere, so who knows. LOL

It's my birthday today, and I have totally changed my mind about Fiona having her own distinct birthday. I want her to get out of me now. Now now now. LOL
lunabee34baby: (pregnant sillo by cru5h)
Everything is still going great. I've gained 14 pounds, my blood pressure is good, and no signs of preeclampsia. Whoooooooo!

He checked my cervix and not much going on down there. LOL Boy, is it not fun having your cervix checked. I've been all crampy and contractiony ever since.

In the last week and a half, I suddenly feel terribly uncomfortable. I cannot breathe. I have indigestion and possibly heartburn (it's hard to say as I have never had heartburn before, and this isn't so much a burny sensation as a feeling that I have a constant burp in my throat and am so full, if that makes any sense). I am as exhausted as I was in the first trimester. I have slowed waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down. I am a waddler. LOL I don't remember any of this from being pregnant with Emma. I think Ems was a much smaller baby, though, and as I was on bedrest at this point in that pregnancy, I guess I didn't really have much opportunity for waddling.

I can wear my swimsuit from last summer! I am so stoked. I am about to hit the pool and stay in it until Fiona is born. My enormous belly will brown in the sunlight. It will be glorious.

The nursery is so close, so close--just piddly shit left to get ready really (a shelf to put up, art to hang on the walls. No biggie.). I feel this overwhelming urge to GET THE ROOM PERFECTLY READY OMG! and then I go in there and just kinda stand around all indecisively. LOL

Next appt in two weeks.
lunabee34baby: (breakfast by saltwaterblood)
I went to the doctor again this Tuesday and saw my actual doctor instead of the nurse practitioner. My next appointment is in three weeks, and I'm super pleased. I felt like the NP was being a bit hyper-vigilant by having me come in so often, and I'm glad he eased up the schedule of my visits.

My blood pressure was fine with no protein in my urine. Whoooo!

Every other time I've been to the doctor it's been in the morning and I haven't eaten. This doctor's visit was directly after I went to the lab to do the one hour glucose test and I had just eaten a pretty big lunch because I was starving. So I feel like my weight is a bit off this visit because of that LOL but according to their measurements, I've gained 13 lbs at this point which is still really great.

We got another bookshelf and I was able to clean out some things from the closet in Fiona's room. The last major hurdle in there is to get the closet functional, and that will happen when Mom and Dad come to visit in April.

Fiona is super active. She's pretty much constantly kicking and squirming and rolling around. It feels deeply weird and sometimes horrible. LOL I don't remember Ems being this active, but that was roughly a million years ago, so who knows? At least she doesn't do it at night; she doesn't keep me awake with her movement, so that's a good thing.

Other than that, nothing much else to report. :)

26 weeks

Mar. 18th, 2013 01:42 pm
lunabee34baby: (finger by lyckaa)
I woke up around 4 last night with pain in my ribs on the right side that didn't diminish until I got out of bed several hours later, which freaked me out and made me think that my blood pressure was rising. While I was in the shower, my kneecap slipped out of socket and I fell. *sigh* Deeply painful. I called the doctor and they told me to go to CVS, check my blood pressure, and if it was high (150/100 or greater) to come in. It read as 140/98, and I decided to just to ahead and go in; I was scheduled for a Wednesday appt anyway. I don't think I could have navigated the stairs up to my office anyway (and I'm a little concerned about that for tomorrow, but *shrugs*; I guess I will manage).

I felt a little silly (but relieved!) once the appt was over. No protein in my urine and my blood pressure was lower than the last visit I had (something like 127/78 or thereabouts). I didn't even mention my knee because they'd charge me extra for talking to me about something non-pregnancy related. LOL I can't decide if I need to wrap my knee with an ace bandage or if that's bad when you're pregnant. IDK

I'd gained two more pounds for a total of 8 lbs. Not bad. As long as it stays at about a lb a week, I'll be right on target for about 20 lbs total.

They want me to go back next week for my next appt, which seems a bit excessive to me, but whatever. The doc also said that as long as I'm not spilling protein and my blood pressure stays down, travel in April should be fine as long as we stop frequently for me to walk and move around. So that's good.

Josh was gone for this whole weekend to a bachelor party, which I think contributed to my mild hysterics this morning. LOL Not to mention, I'm just really emotional lately. I spent waiting time at the doc's re-reading my SGA fanfiction and making myself cry with my own awesomeness. Yeah. It was that kinda morning. LOL

While he was gone, I did some cleaning out of the closet in Fiona's room, I bought a purple trashcan and some little baby gowns, Emma and I made a lamp for her room, and I went through all the clothes I'd saved from when Emma was a baby. A lot of them were actually mine when I was a kid. Not a lot of stuff for newborns outside of Sunday dress type stuff (OMG, y'all, I had forgotten I had like twenty five little Feltman Brothers dresses with the smocking and sweet embroidery, and most of those were ones I wore as a baby. I am determined to get Fiona into all of them, even if it's just to take a picture). So I washed all the clothes and sorted them into sizes and hung up the little dresses and coats (so many gorgeous knitted coats and sweaters!). There were some gorgeous baby blankets, too, so I washed those and hung them up on the quilt rack Daddy made. Her room is starting to look really awesome. (Just as soon as we make the final furniture purchases, pictures will happen!) I'm a little concerned that Fiona won't be able to wear some of the clothes because Ems was a winter baby and Fiona will be a summer baby (not to mention that I hope she is a much, much bigger baby! Ems was in 0-3 for about five months because she came early).
lunabee34baby: (mate for life by smelltheflowers)
I hear that Prince William and Kate are also having a girl. They better keep their mitts off Fiona; a British colleague tells me it's a very posh name by English standards, and what could be be posher than Princess Fiona? LOL

We are going to Ikea tomorrow to get the first round of furniture. I am so excited. My friend J has already made her trip to get two cribs for her impending twins. I went over today to see them put together; they're much lower to the ground than the cribs they used to make (probably because the formerly-ubiquitous drop side is now illegal), but I think I actually like that. You don't have to awkwardly reach over with a railing pressing into your boobs when you lift the baby out, and when the baby is ready for a toddler bed, you just take the side completely off, and it's a fancy little toddler daybed. The only downside is that you cannot store anything under the crib. I find that a bit annoying but not a deal-breaker. I will get some photos up once we make progress on putting the furniture together. I'll post some of Emma's room as well. We moved some furniture from the guest room into Emma's room and took down the nursery border that's been in there since we moved in. It looks really nice.

I am so excited about getting ready for the baby. Josh has been so good about indulging all my little projects: let's clean out from under the beds! let's move this furniture! Even though we're not making a true nursery, I'm thrilled to be turning Fiona's room into a room with grown-up furniture. LOL

J also had a really bad experience with trying to breastfeed, but I think she's decided to try exclusively pumping as well. I think we'll be able to help and support each other, which is really crucial with breastfeeding. I could just strangle every medical professional who dealt with me during my pregnancy and the aftermath who gave me no help or advice with breastfeeding. It's so clear in retrospect exactly what went wrong on the first go-round, and the problems I had were so easily avoidable. I'm going to order Exclusively Pumping on Amazon and continue doing research, and I think I will be able to successfully feed Fiona breast milk (hopefully until it's time to wean her). It's not so much all the quasi-divine properties associated with breast milk that interest me (after all, Emma only got breast milk for five weeks, and she is pretty much the smartest, most awesomest kid of ever IMHO); it's more that breast milk is freeeeeeeeeeeeeee and formula is expensive, and if I can, I want to feed Fiona free food! LOL If I give it an honest go, and I can't breastfeed, I'm not going to beat myself up about it though. I know that feeding babies formula doesn't make them stupid or sick, and I will wash my hands instantly of any guilt, anxiety, or regret.

I have my schedule for the fall, and I am so grateful to my supervisors for working with me and giving me basically the best schedule I could have asked for. I will be teaching two full-session online classes and two session two classes that start at midterm. The session two classes meet every day for an hour and fifteen minutes at 12:30 and 2:00. This means I won't have to put Fiona in daycare until October, and it also means that she won't have to go full days except on rare occasions, and I won't have to get up at ass o'clock in the morning to take her to daycare and then teach an 8:00. I don't know how my office hours will work for the first half of the semester; I know I will probably need to be available during late registration, and obviously to attend any committee meetings, etc., but I hope that I can conduct office hours exclusively online for the first half of the semester since I'll only be teaching online and then start keeping face to face office hours at midterm when the second session courses start. I am so happy that I don't have to take any maternity leave.

24 weeks

Mar. 5th, 2013 12:35 pm
lunabee34baby: (breakfast by saltwaterblood)
I had the 24 week appointment yesterday, and everything was fine. I've gained 6lbs total at this point, so yay! Not gaining too much weight! the only downside is that my blood pressure was a little high. I have to start going every two weeks now instead of four so they can monitor me for preeclampsia. *sigh* Everything else has been so fantastic that I was hoping we could skip the preeclampsia this round. I am going to remain optimistic, but I guess I better start thinking about transferring my classes to online instruction if I have to go on bed rest again (which will be easily done because they're already web-enhanced). We are also scheduled to go to a wedding in April followed by my defense, and those might need to be canceled if my blood pressure worsens. I just don't want to have another premie, and I really don't want to have a C-section. Bah.

I have noticed that I am way more emotional, crying for no reason, tears welling up for any emotion, even positive ones. I think a lot of it is the dissertation, and once that's over, I can relax and not be so wound up. We'll see.

Other than that, nothing much different to report.
lunabee34baby: (cats by fromthewind)
Trashboat has a real people name! We're calling her Fiona Elizabeth.

I have been nesting. It's kind of awesome. I was so sick and worn out with Emma that I didn't really do any of the classic preggo things. I got Josh to rearrange a buttload of furniture and wrote out a list of tasks to accomplish, what we already have, what's on loan from my sister-in-law, and what we still need to buy before Fiona arrives. You'll notice the missing tasks that indicate just how much we were able to do today. Yay! (Any suggestions for what should be on this list but isn't? I don't really have clothes on the list because that won't be a problem; I just put a couple specific items that I want to be certain we get.)

We will need to purchase zero big ticket baby items. Whooooooooooo! In fact, the major purchasing we're going to be doing is to furnish the baby's room. We could go the cheapy route and get some used furniture, but I'm tired of our guest room looking like a college student's apartment with everything all mismatched and no headboard on the bed. We may as well invest in nice furniture that all matches. I'm hoping that the grandparents and possibly the great-aunts and -uncles will be willing to go in with us for the furniture since we don't need any big ticket baby items. If not, though, we're still getting the furniture. We might stagger the purchases--get the crib and a couple of the dressers first and then purchase the headboard and other pieces a month or so later.

My sister-in-law is loaning me a breast pump, but I think it's a single pump (she's emailing me the specs later), and if so, I will take it for traveling, but for my day to day pumping, I think I'll probably rent a hospital grade electric double pump from the medical supply or the hospital.

Any recommendations on diaper bags?

I am starting to get super excited, y'all. I think I'm going to enjoy getting the house ready for Fiona. We're not doing a nursery or really any decorating for her room beyond the new furniture, but I'm stoked to get everything all arranged how I want it. :)
lunabee34baby: (Default)
I had my 20 week visit on Monday. Everything was perfect. I've gained 2.5 lbs (one pound of which is Trashboat). My blood pressure was 136/73, so no signs of preeclampsia. Trashboat had no apparent physical defects or other problems, and she's measuring at a little more than 21 weeks, so she will probably be a big baby!

I'm a little astonished that I've only gained 2.5 lbs, but it's clearly not a problem as Trashboat's measurements are perfectly fine and she weighs just what she should.

The ultrasound was fascinating. That technology has really come a long way since I was pregnant with Emma. It was much easier for me to discern the image than it was ten years ago. The second the technician put the device on my belly, she said, "We have a girl!" as Trashboat was very considerately flashing us her lady bits. :) Trashboat was kicking her legs and waving her arms, and at one point, she looked like she was sucking her thumb.

I started being able to feel little flutters of movement around 18 weeks, maybe a little before, but watching her go to town on the ultrasound made it quite apparent just how much movement she's making that I don't feel. It seems that every day, though, I feel movement more frequently and strongly; I'm sure I'll be quite tired of that pretty quick like here.

My mood has kinda taken a hit recently. I've noticed that I've been irritable the past few days, and I'm not sure if that's because I spent the weekend staying up past my bedtime and going too long in between meals or a hormone surge or what. LOL

Basically, Trashboat progresses along in textbook health (as do I), and now all we have to do is agree on her name which is proving a little more difficult than I had anticipated, but we do have time to decide. :)

ETA: I put the ultrasound pictures in a private post because I just realized they have my full name splashed all across them. *headdesk* I'll see if I can edit that out.
lunabee34baby: (cats by fromthewind)
So, I used to think that the reason I didn't gain much weight when I was pregnant with Emma is because I threw up approximately every thirty seconds. While I'm sure that didn't help matters, I'm starting to wonder if I'm just one of those people who don't gain a whole lot of extra weight when they're pregnant. I can still wear most of my pre-pregnancy clothes, and as of last week, I hadn't gained any weight. I think this week I finally look pregnant because a lot of people came up to me today and congratulated me at work. LOL

I've been having some breathlessness off and on, and I really noticed it today in my last class when I was lecturing. I had to kinda sit down and breathe for a few minutes before I could go on, but not really a big deal.

Since a little before the holidays, my right hip has been going pins and needles at night when I am trying to go to sleep. That hasn't happened in a few nights, but it's really annoying when it does. It doesn't last for too long, but it's irritating enough to keep me awake.

I haven't had a headache in a nice long stretch which I'm grateful for.

Mostly just riding out the rest of this month and hoping nothing exciting happens. :)
lunabee34baby: (breakfast by saltwaterblood)
Doctor's visit was great today. My blood pressure had gone down a little bit from the last visit. I still haven't gained any weight. I do not have a UTI or any protein in my urine. The baby's heart rate was just fine (159, which old wives' tales suggest means Trashboat is a girl). My thyroid test from last time came back normal. In other words, I am having a picture perfect pregnancy.

The doc had a pretty heavy convo with me about how I was going to be monitored closely for preeclampsia, which I already knew (but really appreciate them being so vigilant about), and about doing our best to preempt any postpartum depression (which I also really appreciate as nobody even discussed the possibility with me last time I was pregnant).

My only real complaints continue to be headaches, my back hurting, abdominal aching, and trouble sleeping.

The next visit is scheduled for Feb 4 at exactly 20 weeks, so just five more weeks until we know whether she's a she or he's a he. :)
lunabee34baby: (breakfast by saltwaterblood)
I had my second doctor's appointment today. I've lost three pounds which is fantastic (and surprising LOL). I'm so glad I haven't gained weight yet; I know that I don't need to gain a substantial amount of weight to sustain this pregnancy, and most of the weight gain should come at the end, so score one for me!

My blood pressure was a little elevated, but I don't know if that's white coat syndrome or if it's really starting to elevate. *shrugs* The doc didn't seem worried.

I had a moment of panic when they fumbled around for awhile trying to find the baby's heartbeat, but eventually they found it over to the left side instead of in the middle, and the doctor said the heartbeat sounded just great.

I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop or someone to pull the rug out from under me, but other than exhaustion, headaches, breast tenderness, congestion, and trouble sleeping, I really don't have any pregnancy symptoms. I can easily forget that I am pregnant for long stretches at a time. Before this pregnancy, I never understood how people could be pregnant for months and just not know, but if being pregnant can be like this, I kinda get it. I mean, I could see somebody being stressed (headaches! exhaustion! trouble sleeping) and thinking they have some lingering cold and not even realizing they're pregnant. Of course, I still don't understand how you get to the point where the baby is moving around and not realize that Something is Different. LOL

But, I can't believe this has been this easy. It worries me. Naturally.

Doctor gave me the thumbs up on everything, so I'm just sitting tight until the next appointment which is for Jan. 2 at 15 weeks. I imagine that'll be a repeat of the same unless something changes between now and then. I did have them check my thyroid just because mom's crapped out in her early thirties after two pregnancies, and I have been cold. I NEVER EVER get cold. I am by nature a hot and sweaty individual, and pregnancy is by nature a hot and sweaty enterprise as the increased blood volume tends to make you warmer. But I have been cold ever since I got pregnant, like long pants with socks with a tank top and a long sleeved shirt and sometimes a robe and under a blanket kinda cold. IN SEPTEMBER, MIND YOU (which in the South is essentially July LOL). So, worth checking out.

I am very impressed with this practice. I did not wait more than ten minutes in the waiting room for either appointment; both started on time, and I was not left to languish in an examination room either time.

Emma and I had some good bonding time today. We went to Michael's and picked out crafts for her birthday party. I had the grand idea that if all of the birthday party is regimented activity time, nobody has any time to argue. So we are making cookies--sugar cookies with several different kinds of sprinkles and icing to be piped on, and I got little tins for the girls to take some home--and several different Christmas ornament craft things, and these little wooden boxes they can paint and bejewel. We're having a wii bowling tournament, and playing at least one board game and going to the Mexican restaurant for tacos, so that sounds like a full evening to me. It was good to hang out with her and focus on her; I definitely want her to understand that Trashboat is not supplanting her in our affections at all.

Final bit of miscellany: Trashboat is the size of a lime!
lunabee34baby: (Default)
I will get around to posting about the big reveal to the folks . . . eventually. LOL

I have been having headaches a lot that mostly begin when I lay down but don't go away when I get up. I have a doctor's appt this Friday, so I will check to be sure my blood pressure isn't acting up. It's probably just the hormones. I don't remember having headaches like this with Emma, but then, I don't remember what I had for dinner two nights ago, so that's not saying much. LOL

It's hard to believe there's something the size of a fig growing inside me. My lower belly has gotten a little bigger (it definitely FEELS different), but I can't really feel anything when I press down on my stomach, and the baby isn't big enough yet to feel it moving from the inside.

Apparently, William and Kate are also pregnant. They're just copying us. *sniff* LOL I don't think she's as far along as I am, so our baby will probably be born first. I just hope we don't hit on the same name for the baby. For a short while, everyone assumed we'd named Emma after Ross and Rachel's baby, and um no. No we did not. LOL

Nothing new to report. I really need to go talk to my supervisor and to HR about my maternity plans for the summer/fall and to get daycare squared away. I really wish we knew someone who keeps babies in their house. I might float out a few feelers and see if any of the faculty wives know anyone (or might be interested themselves since a lot of them have kids who are pre-k and up age now and might not mind some extra income). I have absolutely no issues with daycare at all, but Emma was a little over one and a half before we put her in; I think it will be harder for me to put a teensy tiny baby in daycare. But, hey, you do what you have to.
lunabee34baby: (Default)
I had the first doctor's appointment today at 7 weeks. I had gotten myself worked up that since I'm not sick this time around that something was wrong. Josh went with me both because I don't like to navigate to new places and because I was anxious about there being a problem.

I really like the practice; everyone was really friendly and on their game. I didn't even feel the flu shot the nurse gave me, and the pap smear was the friendliest encounter I've had with the mascara wand of doom. I like the doc; he's very laid back which will help with the not feeding into my already over-the-top anxiety. He was all, "Eat whatever you've been eating. Most of those rules about what not to eat and drink and do and etc. are all bunk."

He did the ultrasound; I'd never had a vaginal ultrasound before. It was a bit weird, especially because the gel is warm, bordering on hot, rather than cold. Trashboat was present exactly where she should be, exactly the size she should be, and her heart was beating reassuringly. And she was blessedly alone LOL so no twins for me. :) I can now officially stop freaking myself out and get on with the joy-having.

Doc said that because I had preeclampsia before, I was more likely to have it again, and they'd watch me closely.

I weighed 196.6 pounds, so I haven't gained any weight since October 11--good news there. My blood pressure was good, too, even though I was really anxious. Due date is projected as June 25th, which is what internet told me.

The only slightly irritating thing is that because of my insurance, I have to get my labs done at a separate facility. But the blood being drawn wasn't bad, there was no wait, and they have another branch in a closer town if I ever need to just gets labs done without a doc appointment.

We told some friends tonight, and everyone was really excited for us. That was a nice feeling.

Mom and Dad are coming Friday, and we'll tell them then. Josh's parents are coming for Thanksgiving and we'll tell them then.
lunabee34baby: (cats by fromthewind)
mostly because we have the patience of gnats (or some other unpatientlike creatures).

At first, she didn't believe us. She kept saying, "No, you're not. Quit joking around. You're too old to have another baby." Once we explained that it was not a joke or a trick, she got this really upset look on her face and said she had to go to the bathroom. When she came out, she still looked really upset but wouldn't admit she was upset. I asked her if she was worried that we wouldn't love her as much as the new baby, and then she started crying and said, "Yes!" in the most sobby, pitiful voice. Once we reassured her that we could never love anybody more than her, she calmed down, and now she's really excited. I think she is going to be a fabulous big sister, and she's excited about a new baby. She's been really solicitous, too--asking me if I feel okay and helping around the house. I'm so thrilled she's excited. :)

So far, I really don't feel like I did before in my previous pregnancy. I'm not sick like at all. I'm really tired, and my boobs hurt, and my knee is killing me, and I have to pee every three seconds, but I don't feel anything like I did when I was pregnant before. I'm trying not to find that disconcerting and find it comforting instead with varying degrees of success.
lunabee34baby: (Default)
I went to the doctor yesterday to get a referral to an OBGYN and to get a blood test to confirm the pee test(s!) I took at home. They drew my blood and then told me that I can call on FRIDAY for the results. LOL I don't know what I expected to happen--maybe the skies to open and a heavenly light to shine down on my stomach while the doctor extolled, "Yes! You are pregnant, the best and most pregnant I have ever seen! Go forth and glow, Lorraine!" LOL

I did get a good referral though, a practice that two of the nurses at my GP's have actually used recently, so that makes me feel good. We are close to two major cities, and while Major City A would be more convenient, I want to go to a doc in Major City B because they have a NICU. If I do have preeclampsia again, I do not want to be put in the position of being separated from my baby. When they induced Emma early, we were living in Oxford, and the hospital there is a tiny Baptist hospital with no NICU. I cannot describe to you the utter terror I felt when the doctor told me, "Welp. Looks like you're having a baby today. She's early, so there might be complications. If there are, you have to stay here, and we'll transport the baby to Saint Jude's in Memphis, and it'll be at least a week before we discharge you because of your condition."

Um, no. I am not fucking doing that again. So, I got a referral to a doc in City B and have an appointment for November 7th. They want you to be at least 7 weeks at your first appointment so that they can do an ultrasound. I am stoked!

My blood pressure was a wee tad high yesterday (130/87) which pisses me off. My blood pressure is always good; I guess gaining all that weight back did a doozy on my BP. *sigh* I do not want to start the pregnancy off with a high BP already, darn it.

And also, in a bit of a Walt Whitman moment, I know I said a few posts back that I am feeling pretty zen and all that, but I'm starting to get a bit freaked out that I'm not feeling sick yet. I wish that instead of watching eight hours of Law and Order a day, I had kept track of how my pregnancy with Emma went. LOL I see online that most people don't start to have morning sickness until the 6th week, and I'm just at 4. I wish I could remember how quickly I got ill with her. I know it sounds weird, but there's something kind of reassuring about being sick as a dog. You can't feel the baby move for such a long time, but if you're puking, then that baby's still gelling. LOL

Maybe I won't be sick at all. I'd never hear the end of it from my mother. LOL
lunabee34baby: (tmi by cru5h)
I was talking with [livejournal.com profile] crazydiamondsue the other day about how different this pregnancy already is for me than when I was pregnant with Emma eleven years ago. She and her husband struggled for years with infertility before having a miracle baby, and as I've grown older and have had more and more friends like Sue who have struggled with fertility issues at some point, it's become more and more obvious to me how lucky Josh and I have been. And what a privileged little shit I was at 22-23. LOL

cut for discussion of fertility, miscarriage, anxiety over birth defects )
lunabee34baby: (Default)
So, here's the skinny.

My daughter Emma was born in 2002. I was 23.

I had a not-so pleasant experience as a pregnant person and new mom for a variety of reasons. )

So, why, given that experience, do I want to have another baby? )

I still have some reservations about having another child. )

Overall, though, I'm deeply excited hope to have good news in the next few weeks as Josh and I officially start trying at the beginning of next week.

ETA: I realized that I should also explain that Trashboat is our nickname for the baby and comes from an episode of Regular Show. I tried to name this journal Trashboat, but alas it was already taken.
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